I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
