I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she peed on how many people?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
