Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize