she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
