I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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