She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
