just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
