5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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