no, he came in my armpit
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
