are you still at the devil's house?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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