Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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