There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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