he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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