so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
