Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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