Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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