spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
