i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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