i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
sex in a hospital.. check
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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