I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh god it's open bar.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
