I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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