maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
