i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
