i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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