So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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