Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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