weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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