It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
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He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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