so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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