You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
