well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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