ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
