How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
