I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
