That's intense
i just google imaged poop.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
