..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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