just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
