I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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