You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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