he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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