So drunk its hurt
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
