Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You don't make any sense
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