Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize