Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
