i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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