she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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