I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize