it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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