fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
