I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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