Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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