Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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