don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My feet surprised me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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