Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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