have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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