I look better un-naked...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
