Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
