Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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