i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize