I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That's when you crack a 10am beer
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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