Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize