absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"