Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
