There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
