I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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