You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
