i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize