She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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