i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
