Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
