So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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