dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
pray to the hookup gods
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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