Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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