Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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