my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
